The FLOWER ANALOGY,,,,


Flowers in a vase

  1. >> Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to ACA Flowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?
    >>
    >> Customer : Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
    >> …
    >> Receptionist : Yes! I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.
    >>
    >> Customer : Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife.
    >>
    >> Receptionist : Interrupting, Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
    >>
    >> Customer : But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.
    >>
    >> Customer : Well, how much are they?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.
    >>
    >> Customer: What’s the difference?Roses
    >>
    >> Receptionist: 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.
    >>
    >> Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?
    >>
    >> Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
    >>
    >> Customer: FlowerAid?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
    >>
    >> Customer: Who said they were a right?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.
    >>
    >> Customer: Whoa! I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowersas a right .
    >>
    >> Receptionist: It is not really a “Right in the Constitution,” but ObamaFlowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.
    >>
    >> Customer: I don’t believe this.
    >>
    >> Receptionist: It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?
    >>
    >> Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
    >>
    >> Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
    >>
    >> Customer: Why?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.
    >>
    >> Customer: WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!
    >>
    >> Receptionist: It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.
    >>
    >> Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50.
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
    >>
    >> Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
    >>
    >> Customer: Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.
    >>
    >> Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. That’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
    >>
    >> Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?
    >>
    >> Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates sir.
    >>
    >> Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door
    >>
    >> Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers. Have a nice day and God Bless Grass Roots Americans